The weekend is HERE! Guess what, Christmas is almost here. I can’t wait! I’m doing my shopping online, avoiding the lines, and crowds. Makes life so much easier. I wish it was that simple, just click and swipe life away. Not so much, the struggles are real. So I wanted to share my slumps from this week.
I’ve been feeling down in my spirit as of lately. It seems I wear my heart on my sleeves. Although, many look at me, as someone with a strong presence, hard shell, and very confident in myself. At times it may appear that I prefer my alone time. Really, the truth of the matter is, I’m an introvert at times. I don’t like to be the center of attention or be in uncomfortable situation. At times, I have conversations with others and feel completely awkward about how to start a conversation or engage. Only when I’m passionate about the topic of conversation will I feel most comfortable.
Then on the flip-side, I do push people away, especially if they’ve hurt me emotionally. I’m very protective of my feelings. If they’ve be bruised, I find it extremely hard to forgive them. It’s why I find it hard to trust people, because of fear of getting hurt. Heartache is extremely hard for me to work my way through. Honestly, if it weren’t for God, I would not be as strong as I am. He’s brought me through challenges, only to discover I have the strength to persevere. What I can say, God has equipped me with, Determination, Encouragement, and Persistence. I never want to Quit on myself.
Yet, I can honestly say, I’ve been able to work on making commitments to others. Building more friendships and opening up to others. It’s still a learning curve for me, I know God has placed important people in my life to help guide me. Truly, my biggest fear, is failure. Facing failure and not having anyone there to help pick me up. I’ve been leaning on myself for so long, trusting others is foreign to me. However, now I feel alive when I can help others or lend them a shoulder of support or just listen, without responding. Sometimes, I tend to fix everyone’s problem or correct their behavior, when its not my place to do so. Only God can make them change, and I need to discern I am not God or their savior. I have to truly trust God on this one, because I would lose the gifts he’s given me to help others.
Funny, I know God always listen and provides the answers I need. An amazing post appear to me and I wanted to share it:
Father, today I release every person who has criticized me or tried to discourage me. I choose to forgive them; I choose to turn away from that distraction. I choose to focus on You and the blessings You have in store for me in Jesus’ name Amen.