A Burden?!

image by google 

Usually, I would post an encouraging scripture for the morning, but I don’t post just to fill a space or slot. This post is a bit different, it’s a subject which I know can be a struggle for many believers. Nonetheless, it needs to be address, because we all have concerns and questions. Keep reading! 🙂

I was really contemplating on whether to write this particular post. The truth is, to pursue a relationship with God, means you have to shed the old self, feed the Spirit, and starve the flesh live in obedience to God. A harsh reality, but it serves a purpose. Remember God is not in the business to punish anyone. The idea is to know God and know yourself. What God gives the world cannot ever fathom.

God not only wants you to pursue a relationship with Him, but He wants you to pursue a relationship with yourself. Learning to thrive in the spirit awakens your true identity and discover why He created you. Before the start of 2018, I ended a 4 year relationship. A difficult decision, one I now don’t regret. It would have destroyed us both in the long run. It was painful to discover what my ex had hidden in the dark. I was broken on so many levels. Not only did he hurt me, but it release me completely into the hands of Gods. As I wept, Jesus wept because He seen greatness inside of me, where I’d only seen emptiness.

I made a firm decision to surrender everything over to God. Made some tough decision, but it is all for the glory of God. I choose to live in obedience. I learned the power of Gods love, His love is infinite, unconditional. There is no limit to what God can do. All I had to welcome Him in and trust Him. I learn to love God, learn to love myself. I am a reflection of Him, He sees me as His daughter, but I needed to believe it.

I decided to change the way I led my life. More specifically, I decided to give God my body. Which meant I would not have sex until marriage. Yes, I am very firm and clear on this decision. I WILL NOT have sex with a man before marriage. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, which has been granted to me. I am responsible for taking care of this vessel, and I dutifully honor this decree.

Image by biblia

Let me rewind for a moment. I lost my virginity many years ago, but not due to peer pressure or anything. This was a period in time where I didn’t know God. I heard of God, but I didn’t see why I needed Him. I had no sort of emotion toward God, only that He was just another character in a story. (I hope I’m not the only one who viewed God this way.) When you are a lost sheep, you stray into the patterns of the world. Empty pleasures, lost identity, and false promises. When I look back now, that was my reality.

After the day, I lost my “innocences”, I dated men, involved sex, and when it was over I felt hollow. I lost bits of myself each time it happened.  (This is not exaggeration, this is what I felt). I wasn’t sleeping with random men, but every committed relationship I had, sex was involved. Deeply, I always felt like something was wrong. I always heard a voice telling me what I did was wrong. I tried to drown the voice and follow my flesh. When each relationship had ended, my heart harden and grew colder. Misery accompanied me and forgiveness was never an option. I couldn’t shake the despair.

Image by daily bible inspiration

Fast forward to now, I’ve dealt with loads of heartbreak, but this was the last straw. Jesus appeared, pulled me out of the fire, and clothed me in pure light. He brought me into His arms and I just erupt in tears. Every single thing that I had buried inside, just pour out of my eyes. I spoke them out of my system. His embrace grew closer and closer. I’ve beaten myself to where I couldn’t even recognize who I was, but Jesus knew who I was. Jesus could not stand to watch the pain I continuously threw myself in. God took me under his wings, remove the shame and shown me how valuable I am as His daughter. God lifted the veil to begin a good work within me. Transformation took place.

I planted my feet on the path to Jesus. Much to my surprise, until now I have kept that promise. I have not compromise it for anybody. Any man who wants to pursue a relationship with me, has to uphold this same belief. If not, then they are surely not the man God has for me. My heart is hidden inside of God, in order to find me, you have to seek Him. He is my father, my protector, and they must ask God permission to receive me. God is my first love, the everlasting love. No man can get between God and I. In the same fashion, I cannot come between man and God.

I’ve gone on a few dates, but none could handle this belief.  The weight of this isn’t easy to handle. But I ask why would any man not want to be with God nor even be with a woman who chases after God?

The last guy I dated, this was a topic of discussion. I asked for him to come alongside in support of this decision. He said, I am quoting his exact words, “I don’t want to be accountable for your burden”. Now, I lost my breathe. I was confused actually, because this same guy declared to me, He was a christian. Now, I’m not saying all Christians walk a straight line, but the fact that He said to me (and to God), my decision to save sex for marriage is a burden. What?!

He is a Christian, goes to church every Sunday (yes, faithfully goes to church), talks about God, and worships God. Yet, calls my decision to save my body for marriage a burden. What Bible is this guy reading? What is the church teaching him? I couldn’t believe it. Immediately I turned to God and prayed. There seems to be different definitions as to what living like Christ means. We have half believers, who seek half of Gods truth.

We are imperfect, yes! We will not be free of sin in the same way Jesus lived, yes. But this one specific detail is in the Bible. And this guy overlooked it completely. Needless to say, among other disparities, the relationship ended. I politely stop pursuing anything with Him. (Another surprise for me, because the old me would have made it worked, suffer through it, and waste more years in a love less relationship).

God helped me to say no and walk away. I can’t say it was easy to do, but God gave me the strength to follow through. My strength comes from the Lord. And I know He has a plan. I wish I could make love happen, but it wouldn’t be by Gods design. What God has asked me to do, is to bring Him glory. Removing sex from the equation, helps me to defeat lust and temptation acts. I don’t feel pressure to appease societies view on sex first then marriage, right away.

It’s a refreshing perspective to build meaningful relationships without blurring the lines with sex. Pressure is off and I feel like I can definitely allow God to control my love life. God can fulfill all my desires and I am well feed. Its not an easy task, but God has transform those urges in other ways. God is my covering.

Don’t ever let a man or woman tell you because of the modern world view, you can’t wait until marriage to have sex. Don’t ever let someone pressure you into having sex, when you know you don’t want too. Don’t ever feel you are unworthy because you choose to wait until marriage. It is not a corny idea, it is not a boring life, and it is not uncool. You would definitely want to be apart of Gods team. When you honor God, God will honor you. The body He has given you is a gift, cherish it, take care of it, and love it. God lives inside of you, the blood Jesus shed was for you, and you are very valuable to God.

©Beutiflee

©TiffanyLee and Beutiflee.wordpress.com, 2018.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to TiffanyLee and Beutiflee.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.