Found myself

Journal, , , 19 Comments

Until about 2 years ago, I absolutely thought, this time I’d found my Prince Charming. This time I would get it right. I wanted so badly to reach my Happily Ever After, get married, and have children, fulfill my dreams. But the truth broke my heart into pieces, and I crumpled. Another failed engagement. I found betrayal and unfaithfulness, it flipped my world upside down. Many say, “well it happens to everyone.”  This is normal?! What? No, it’s not normal to devote your love to someone, and then in return find out they’ve never intended to cherish it. It’s not normal to give your body to someone you thought loved you in return, but secretly they enjoy sleeping with other women. It’s not normal having someone assassinate your character by preying on your insecurities. It reminded me of why I was a failure, again. Who could ever love me? Those words plagued my mind. I sat trying to nurse my wounded heart. Lying down on the floor of my bedroom, curled up into a ball, crying. Why me? Is there something wrong with me? Why me?

I replayed those questions over and over, as tears stained the floor. Alone in the dark, I was so alone, I felt the loneliness consume me, once again. Who could ever love me? I felt like damaged goods. I don’t know how to explain it, it was like I felt something wrap around me. It was like a warm embrace and a sense of peace washed over me. I distinctly heard a gentle voice say, “Daughter, I have seen your tears, felt your pain. I can’t stand by and watch others take advantage of you. Your heart, that I created is very precious. I will mend your wounds and heal your heart. You are my daughter and I want the very best for you. I love you. I have not forsaken you. I will never leave you, nor forsake you. Come with me, take my hand. Just trust me.”

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I felt His arms wrap around me and lift me off the ground. I would never be alone again. I didn’t need other people to define me, my identity is found in Jesus. I didn’t need others to approve me, I had God approval, his grace and mercy to pull me through. I am single in the world, but I am married in the spirit. God has my heart. In Gods perfect timing, I will be united with my husband. As of right now, God has me on a mission. With my gifts and His power we will win others to the kingdom. My attention is on serving God, and to help others. Sharing the message of God with those who are lost and forgotten. And to win my own family to Jesus.

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I chose to be baptized before my friends, but more importantly my family. I want this to be a witness that God is the way, the truth, and the life. God is gracious, loving, and forgiving. God is the only one to fill the void in my heart, because God created it. Being single doesn’t mean I am damaged, it’s not a disease, or a curse. God does not deny His love, because I am single. It is not a sin to be single.

You are single, because God has designed you for something greater. He has given you a divine purpose. You are single for a reason, and fall into His divine plans. He has placed something inside of all of us, and you need to tap into those gifts. Single season, seasons you, prepares you. Jesus journey lead to His gift of salvation. He gave humanity salvation, an eternal gift. It is time, we embrace this single season with God. 

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Hi, I’m Tiffany! My hope is to encourage and equip others to cultivate a life rooted Christ alone and create a simple lifestyle.

19 thoughts on “Found myself”

  2. There is definitely nothing wrong with you at all, Tiffany. You are a beautiful soul, filled with so many wonders and the last man could not appreciate what you had to give. He was not equipped to do so and that’s okay, because it put you on a better path. Like you, I’m single and I don’t feel like I’m defected goods anymore. I started accepting that this is meant to be, maybe because God doesn’t want anything or anyone to hinder what I’m meant to do and become. People like your ex are stepping stones. He helped you grow and though it hurt you, you are stronger today than you were that moment when you were crying and asking why.. what’s wrong with me? You see your worth, your potential and you’re moving forward. I can totally relate to this post and no… being single is not a curse, it’s a blessing. Because we have the freedom to impact this world without anyone holding us back. I’ll be rooting for you, girl. You’re making a huge difference in this place. Keep doing what you’re doing. 😊❤️

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    2. Thank you for this beautiful comment. I want to encourage others to stop looking at singlehood as a defect. We are all broken in some way. But it doesn’t mean I’m less of a person because I’m not married or in a relationship. I’m not incomplete. God knows exactly what He’s doing and I’m trusting Him. When the time is right, then I’ll be able to move into the next status.
      For now, I’m just embracing every moment and working diligently in honor of God. Being single has been an eye opener and the best journey I’ve travelled thus far. I don’t know what’s to come and I can’t spend my time dwelling on it. Just enjoying the present.

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      1. You are very welcome, Tiffany. You’re right. Just trust in God and let Him guide you where you are meant to be. Things will fall into place in the right time. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You are very welcome, Tiffany. 🙂 Honestly, things had been a bit stressful these past few weeks in my personal life and they are finally settling down enough where I can breathe. So, I’m just taking things on day at a time. I hope things are going beautiful for you, my friend.

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  5. Pingback: Music I’m Loving Right Now: In over my head

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